tommie_angel

A lot of us are very angry about the passing of California Proposition 8. If you feel the same I urge you to please read the following and spread the word. Repost this on your own blog as well. There is now a website mormonsstoleourrights.com that explains the facts of gay marriage, Proposition 8 and the Mormon influence in the passing of the hate bill.

RULES FOR A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's not just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out!

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Silver Lake, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any and all small towns in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in laws. This applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion.

So one of the cool things about my job, is that I get to read blog posts all day. I read this blog from one of our Red Room members and I enjoyed it. I thought I would share as I know many people on my F-list could identify with this posting: 

I'm thirty-six, I'm Beautiful, and I'm still here!

Any blog post that mentions sixteen-candles, Ducky, and Lond Duc Dong, gets my vote. If you have a Red Room membership, wish this lucky lady a happy birthday....

What You’re Going To Need:

• A timer. Any will do. Digital, manual, stopwatch, desktop widget. Anything will do as long as you can set it to a certain time and then have it count down to zero.
• Something to write with. Again, this can be as simple as a pencil or pen and a few pieces of paper, or it can be a new document in your favorite word processing program.
• A goal. This is a bit trickier, and will take some thought and some of the above writing instruments to accomplish it.

As I’ve said before, to have great goals, you must have clarity. Here are the three things you are going to need for your goal: a) the first sentence of the scene or chapter b) the last sentence of the scene or chapter and c) the approximate word count of the scene or chapter.

Let’s take each aspect of your goal and examine it in further detail:

• The First Sentence - Here’s the starting line. This is the sentence that sets the tone. It gives us information. It gives us a bit of closure and builds upon the last sentence of the previous scene or chapter. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but you really need to give it some thought. In writing the Denton and Monty series, I tend to alternate between having dialogue and having exposition as a first sentence. Rarely do I have two chapters in a row open with dialogue or exposition.
• The Last Sentence - Here’s our metaphorical finish line. This is where we want to end up. You may zig a bit and zag a bit in the preceding thousand or two thousand words, but you will eventually have to hit this target. Again, you’re going to have to sit down, put your thinking cap on, and really think about how you want to end the scene or chapter. If I’ve opened with dialogue, I try to close with exposition, and vice versa. The first sentence and the last sentence really have to be the most powerful ones in the entire part. The first one draws them into the scene, and the last one makes them lose sleep and turn the page to the next chapter.
• The word count - This one you’re allowed to fudge a bit. Mathematically, I know that each Denton and Monty book will be anywhere from 80 to 100,000 words, and I know that each chapter is about a thousand words, hence I should plot out 80 to 100 little bitty chapters. This, of course, will change after each draft, when chapters are cut, chapters are edited, chapters are added, but I usually shoot for a grand. Sometimes, the finish line, the last sentence, will dictate a larger or smaller amount, but that’s just fine. Do the math, come up with a number, and go for it. I’d recommend that you do at least a thousand, and not more than 3,000, for reasons that will become obvious in a minute.

Or rather, five minutes.

How You’re Going To Do It

• Sit your butt in your seat.
• Open up your file, or take a piece of paper and write your first sentence.
• Set the timer for five minutes.
• Start the timer.
• Start writing.
• Write as fast as hell until the little bell goes ding.
• Look at how much you’ve accomplished.
• Feel very smug and self-satisfied.
• Set timer again.
• Repeat above processes as much as necessary until you have a finished first draft of your novel or short story or poem.

Yes, it is that easy. This is a great little exercise to use in combination with Writing in Public. You will be amazed at how much you can actually accomplish in as little as five minutes. It’s the procrastinator, it’s the inner critic, it’s the lazy shadow side of ourselves that usually stop us from sitting down and just writing. This little timer trick is a great way to get rid of your procrastination habit. When you hear or see that second hand start to tick away, start heading toward 0:00, your natural competitive nature takes over and you start writing.

Why You Want To Do It:

• As I’ve mentioned before, concentration upon demand is one of the most important powers that a writer can have. The ability to sit down, open a file, grab a sheet of paper, and immediately start writing, no matter what the surroundings or circumstances is a super power on a par with things like breathing underwater, heat vision, invincibility and flying. This little timer exercise, will, in a weird Pavlovian way, train you to have concentration on demand. Soon, you probably won’t even need the timer. The timer is merely a vehicle to get you to sit down and start writing, without any hesitation.
• One of the main obstacles to concentration upon demand is the inner editor, or inner critic. This is the guy who’s screaming at you, taunting you as you come up to the starting line. He’s the fat beer drinking slob with his face painted in the colors of the opposing team who wants you to fail. Now it is widely known that the inner editor/critic is notoriously out of shape. This guy couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without having to stop half way and suck on some oxygen. He’s the guy who has to have a cigarette after walking up those stairs. Doing this timed writing gives you the speed and concentration of a Roger Banister, of a Marion Jones. Once that gun goes off, and you take off down the track, your inner editor/critic will be left huffing and puffing and wheezing for breath after they take five or six steps.
• It builds your writing muscles. Have you ever seen a sprinter up close? They have like 3% body fat. They are greyhound thin, and you can literally use them as an anatomy lesson, because you can see every muscle, every tendon. They are sleek and streamlined. And so will you. You will sit down, write that first sentence, and barely get the period at the end of it before you start on the second, which leads to the third.

You’ll be sleek, lean, and in great shape for finishing that novel.